Collection of Internet/Collection of Internet.iso/faq/comp/fonts_fa/part3

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From: [e-mail] (Norman Walsh)
Subject: comp.fonts FAQ: General Info (3/3)
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Followup-To: poster
Summary: This posting answers frequently asked questions about fonts.
         It addresses both general font questions and questions that
         are specific to a particular platform.
Sender: [e-mail] (Norman Walsh)
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Reply-To: [e-mail] (Norman Walsh)
Organization: O'Reilly and Associates, Inc.
References: <[e-mail]>
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 1994 16:27:42 GMT
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Xref: bloom-beacon.mit.edu comp.fonts:6515 comp.answers:3561 news.answers:14501

Archive-name: fonts-faq/part3
Version: 2.0.3

Subject: 1.20. Unicode Information

  [ed: This is a summary of the Unicode info I've gleaned from the net
  recently, the whole Unicode issue needs to be addressed better by the
  FAQ...someday...  someday...I'll get to reorganize the whole thing]

  Unicode Editing
  ===============

  James Matthew Farrow contributes:

  I use `sam' for all by text editing.  It is X editor based on an editor
  for the blit called jim.  Papers describing sam as well as a
  distribution of sam itself are available for ftp from research.att.com.
  The sam there is a Unix port of the Plan 9 version.  Plan 9 is a full
  unicode operating system, even around before NT!  The libraries sam is
  built upon therefore support 16 bit wide characters.  The graphics
  library, supplied with it at present does not.  However they may be
  planning to distribute a new version which does soon.  The library just
  plugs in replacing the library that comes with sam.  No modification is
  necessary.  Character are stored using the utf-2 encoding.

  All of the files I had before I started working with sam were 7 bit
  ascii so no conversion was needed.  Now I have ditched xterm in favour
  of 9term: a terminal emulator in the style of 81/2 (the Plan 9
  interface).  This lets me type Unicode characters on the command line,
  as part of filenames, in mail, wherever and most Unix utilities cope
  without modification.  This is about to be released.  I'm looking for
  beta testers.  ;-)

  Is a special keyboard required?
  -------------------------------

  No.  ASCII Characters are typed as normal.  Common characters above
  0x7f are typed using two letter abbreviations.  The table is similar to
  the troff special character codes, e.g, Alt-12 gives you a 1/2, Alt-'e
  gives you e acute, Alt-bu a bullet and so on.  This table is hardwired
  into the library at present but is trivial to change.  Other codes are
  accessed by typing their hex value, for instance the smiley is
  Alt-X263a (0x263a being a smiley character in the Unicode character
  set).

  Is roman-to-Unicode conversion available?
  -----------------------------------------

  All normal 7 bit ascii characters are encoded as themselves so no
  translation is needed.  There are conversion routines in the library
  (runetochar and chartorune) which will do the conversion and it should
  be pretty simple to convert files already in another format.  You would
  have to write something to do the transliteration yourself.  A small
  patch to the system would let you enter different language `modes' for
  text entry.

  Are there PostScript or TrueType fonts available?
  =================================================

  Apparently there is a version of the Lucida fonts by Bigelow and Holmes
  which support Unicode.  This is the information I have on them.

  [ed: quoting another source]

  [Windows NT] will ship with a Unicode TrueType font containing
  approximately 1,500 characters.  The font is called "Lucida Sans
  Unicode" and was specifically designed by Bigelow and Holmes for
  Microsoft to contain the following Unicode sets:

       ASCII
       Latin 1
       European Latin
       Extended Latin
       Standard Phonetic
       Modifier Letters
       Generic Diacritical
       Greek
       Cyrillic
       Extended Cyrillic
       Hebrew
       Currency Symbols
       Letterlike Symbols
       Arrows
       Mathematical Operators
       Super & Subscript
       Form & Chart Components
       Blocks
       Geometric Shapes
       Miscellaneous Technical
       Miscellaneous Dingbats

  The bitmap fonts which comes with the utf version of the libXg graphics
  library (the library upon which sam is built) support a sparse subset
  of the full character set.  That is, only a few of them have glyphs at
  present.  A font editor such as xfedor would let you add more.  The list
  of those currently available is pretty much as the above list.

  I use 9term and sam as a matter of course now and have for several
  months.  I enjoy the convenience of putting special characters and
  accented characters in my mail as well as being able to do some
  phonetic work all in the one terminal/editor suite.

Subject: 1.21. Can I Print Checks with the MICR Font?

  This comes up all the time: standard ordinary laser toner is magnetic
  and will be read by the banks.  The gotcha is that standard laser toner
  rubs off in the *very* high-speed sorting equipment that are used, and
  this makes read rates drop low and the banks will hate you.

  I researched check printers for a customer, and was surprised to find
  this.  The Troy(tm) printers he bought are basically stock Ricoh
  engines that have slightly tighter paper handling (for registration),
  plus they add a proprietary Teflon-type power coating on the output
  path to coat the checks.

  I saw some examples of checks printed with and without this special
  coating after running through something like 40 passes through check
  processing equipment, and the one without the coating was a mess. These
  require special handling that the banks do *not* like.  Apparently,
  they go after companies that issue these kinds of checks with special
  processing fees.

Subject: 1.22. Rules of Thumb

  It is difficult to set out guidelines for font usage, because almost
  any rule can be brilliantly broken under the right circumstances.

     * General guidelines:

          * Never lose track of the kind of work you're doing. An effect
            that would ruin a newsletter might be just the thing for a
            record cover.  Know when you can safely sacrifice legibility
            for artistic effect.

          * Keep in mind the final reproduction process you'll be using.
            Some effects (like reversed type, white on black) can be hard
            to read off an ordinary 300-dpi laser, but will work if
            finals are done on a high-resolution printer, such as a
            Linotronic. Will the pages be photocopied? Offset? Onto rough
            paper, shiny paper?  All these factors can and should
            influence your choice of fonts and how you use them.

          * Running some comparative tests is a good idea. Better to blow
            off a few sheets of laser paper now than to see a problem
            after thousands of copies are made.

          * No one can teach you font aesthetics; it must be learned by
            example.  Look at beautiful magazines, posters, books with
            wide eyes, so that you can see how it's done. Examine ugly
            printed matter critically and consider why it's hard to read.

     * Good rules of thumb:

          * If you need a condensed font, find one that was designed that
            way, rather than scaling an existing font down to a
            percentage.  Any scaling distorts a font's design; excessive
            scaling interferes with legibility - this goes for widening
            as well as narrowing. Extended faces do exist, although they
            aren't as common as condensed ones.

          * Many people feel that bold or italic type, or type in ALL
            CAPS, is more legible: "This is the most important part of
            the newsletter, let's put it in bold." In fact, legibility
            studies show that such type is actually harder to read in
            bulk. Keep the text in a normal style and weight, and find
            another way to emphasize it - box it, illustrate it, run it
            in color, position it focally.

          * Too much reverse type - white on black - is hard on the eyes.
            It can be a nice effect if used sparingly. Don't reverse a
            serif font, though - its details will tend to fill in. Stick
            to reversing bold sans-serifs, and remember to space them out
            a bit more than usual.

          * It is always safest to use a plain serif font for large
            amounts of text. Because Times is widely used, it doesn't
            mean it should be avoided. Fonts like Palatino, Times,
            Century Old Style are deservedly popular because people can
            read a lot of text set in such faces without strain.

            Don't expect anyone to read extensive text set in a condensed
            font.

          * As point size gets bigger, track tighter, and (if the
            software allows) reduce the spacebands as well. A spaceband
            in a headline size (anything over 14 point) should be about
            as wide as a letter "i".

          * If you only have a few large headlines, hand-kerning the
            type, pair by pair, can make the end result much more
            pleasing.  Besides, working with fonts this closely makes
            them familiar.

          * Column width and justification are major elements in design.
            The narrower the column, the smaller the type can be; wide
            rows of small type are very hard to read. Often it's a better
            idea to set narrow columns flush left rather than justified,
            otherwise large gaps can fall where hyphenation isn't
            possible.

          * Use curly quotes.

          * Don't put two spaces at the end of a line (.  ) instead of (.
            ) when using a proportionally spaced font.

Subject: 1.23. Acknowledgements

  The moderators would like to express their gratitude to the whole
  community for providing insightful answers to innumerable questions.  In
  particular, the following people (listed alphabetically) have
  contributed directly to this FAQ (apologies, in advance if anyone has
  been forgotten):

                       Masumi Abe <[e-mail]>

                       Glenn Adams <[e-mail]>

                 Borris Balzer <[e-mail]>

               Charles A. Bigelow <[e-mail]>

                   David J. Birnbaum <[e-mail]>

                Tim Bradshaw <[e-mail]>

                      Arlen Britton <[e-mail]>

                       Stan Brown <[e-mail]>

                Scott Brumage <[e-mail]>

                     Lee Cambell <[e-mail]>

                 Terry Carroll <[e-mail]>

                       Ari Davidow <[e-mail]>

                     Pat Farrell <[e-mail]>

                 James Matthew Farrow <[e-mail]>

                Stephen Friedl <[e-mail]>

              Peter J. Gentry <[e-mail]>

                 Yossi Gil <[e-mail]>

               Timothy Golobic <[e-mail]>

                   Kesh Govinder <[e-mail]>

                     Rick Heli <[e-mail]>

                 Jeremy Henderson <[e-mail]>

                      Henry ??? <[e-mail]>

                      Gary <[e-mail]>

                   Berthold K.P. Horn <[e-mail]>

                   Don Hosek <[e-mail]>

                     Bharathi Jagadeesh <[e-mail]>

               Chang Jin-woong <[e-mail]>

                     Darrell Leland <[e-mail]>

                       David Lemon <[e-mail]>

                          Jon <[e-mail]>

                      ??? <[e-mail]>

                      ??? <[e-mail]>

                  David Mandl <[e-mail]>

                Kate McDonnell <[e-mail]>

                   George Moore <[e-mail]>

                   Robert Morris <[e-mail]>

                  Stephen Moye <[e-mail]>

                Terry O'Donnell <[e-mail]>

                  Stephen Peters <[e-mail]>

                     Bill Phillips <[e-mail]>

                      Jim Reese <[e-mail]>

                      Bill Ricker <[e-mail]>

                          Liam Quin <[e-mail]>

                            Henry Schneiker <?>

                 Bill Shirley <[e-mail]>

               Cameron Smith <[e-mail]>

                    Werenfried Spit <[e-mail]>

                      Anthony Starks <[e-mail]>

                    Ike Stoddard <[e-mail]>

                   Danny Thomas <[e-mail]>

                   Anders Thulin <[e-mail]>

                   Erik-Jan Vens <[e-mail]>

                     Amanda Walker <[e-mail]>

Subject: 1.24. A Brief Introduction to Typography

  Space, time, and bandwidth are too limiting to provide a complete
  introduction to typography in this space.  I'd be very willing to make
  one available for anonymous ftp, if you want to write one, but I'm not
  going to write it-I have neither the time nor the expertise.  However,
  the following description of Times, Helvetica, and Courier will suffice
  for a start.  For more information, several books on typography are
  listed in the bibliography.

  Comments by Laurence Penney:
  ============================

  Laurence Penney offers the following description of Times, Helvetica,
  and Courier:

  Times is a typeface designed in the 1930s for the Times newspaper in
  London and is now used widely in books, magazines and DTP. Its design
  is based on the typographical principles evolved since Roman times
  (upper case) and the 16th century (lower case). It is called a
  TRANSITIONAL typeface, after the typefaces of the 17th century which it
  resembles.  Like all typefaces designed for typesetting large
  quantities of text, it is proportionally spaced: the i takes about a
  third the width of an M.  Personally I don't like Times too much and
  prefer the more elegant Garamond and Baskerville, but these will
  probably cost you money...  Note: The Transitionals came after the Old
  Styles (like Garamond) and before the Moderns (like Bodoni).

  Helvetica is an example of a SANS-SERIF typeface. These first appeared
  in the late 19th century in Germany and flourished in the 1920s and
  30s, when they were regarded as the future of typography.  It's more a
  geometric design than the humanist design of Gill Sans, but less
  geometric than Avant Garde and Futura. To my mind it lacks elegance,
  and Adrian Frutiger's Univers shows how this kind of typeface should be
  done. (Just compare the B, R, Q, a, g of Univers and Helvetica to see
  what I mean - and don't you just love Univers's superbly interpreted
  ampersand ?!) Helvetica is one of the few fonts that is improved by its
  BOLD version.

  Another interesting approach to sans-serif is Optima, by Hermann Zapf,
  which keeps the stroke-weight variations which sans-serifs usually
  reject. Use sans-serif fonts for the same applications as Times, above,
  but where you're less concerned with elegance, and more with a
  functional appearance - they're generally reckoned to be slightly less
  legible than good serifed fonts. They're also very suitable for display
  work.

  Courier is a typeface derived from typewriter styles. It should ONLY be
  used when you want to simulate this effect (e.g. when writing letters
  Courier usually appears "friendlier" than Times). Like all typewriter
  fonts, it is MONOSPACED (characters all have the same width) and is
  thus suitable for typesetting computer programs. However there are
  nicer looking monospace fonts than Courier (which has oversize serifs),
  that still remain distinct from the text fonts like Times and
  Helvetica. A good one is OCR-B, designed by Frutiger. Note that
  monospaced fonts are less economical on space than proportional fonts.

  [ed: Following the original posting of this message, Laurence Penny and
  Jason Kim discussed the issue privately.  The following summary of
  their discussion may serve to clarify some of the more subtle points.
  My thanks to Laurence and Jason for allowing me to include this in the
  FAQ.]

                       -----------------------------

  LP-1> The Transitionals came after the Old Styles (like Garamond) and
  before the Moderns (like Bodoni).

  JK> Not necessarily true!  Ideologically, yes, but not chronologically.
  I believe, for example, that Bodoni predates New Century Schoolbook or
  some such typeface.

  LP-2> What I meant by "X came after Y" was "the first examples of X
  appeared after the first examples of Y" - it's called precis. Some
  people still make steam trains, but you can still say "Steam engines
  came before diesels." This is chronological, not ideological in my book.

                       -----------------------------

  LP-1> Another interesting approach to sans-serif is Optima, by Hermann
  Zapf, which keeps the stroke-weight variations which sans-serifs
  usually reject. Use sans-serif fonts for the same applications as
  Times, above, but where you're less concerned with elegance, and more
  with a functional appearance - they're generally reckoned to be
  slightly less legible than good seriffed fonts. They're also very
  suitable for display work.

  JK> Slightly? I have several textbooks typeset by utter fools and they
  are a pain in the ass (and eyes) to read! Please don't encourage anyone
  to use Optima (or any sans serif fonts for that matter) "for the same
  applications as Times," which, need I remind you, was designed for
  *newspaper* work!!

  LP-2> OK, maybe I was a little over-generous to Univers, Helvetica,
  etc., but I think variation is extremely important in typography. Have
  you ever read the British magazine "CAR" ? That uses Helvetica light (I
  think) in a very legible and attractive way, IMO.  I agree, though,
  Optima is crappy for text, but it's a very valuable experiment and
  looks beautiful when printed in high quality for titling, etc. And yes,
  *books* in Helvetica are generally awful.

                       -----------------------------

  JK> Serifs have been scientifically shown to be a *lot* easier on the
  reader, as they guide the eyes along the lines.

  LP-2> In all tests I've seen the serifs have always won the day, but
  only with certain seriffed fonts, and fonts like Univers aren't far
  behind. The "tracking" advantage for serif fonts is reduced when you're
  talking about narrow newspaper/magazine columns.

                       -----------------------------

  JK> You wrote a pretty short and partial history of type. Why ignore
  the roots of type (blackletter) as well as the climax (moderns-give an
  explanation) and subsequent 'post-modern' revivals?

  LP-2> I was just talking about the place the 3 most common DTP types
  hold in the history of typography, and a few associated pitfalls. It
  wasn't meant as a "history of typography" at all. Please feel free to
  provide such a history yourself.

  JK> I think any short list of specific faces is incomplete without
  mention of Palatino, the most popular Old Style revival in existence.

  LP-2> Do you? To my mind Palatino is grossly over used. You must agree
  it looks bad for dense text. It isn't a proper "oldstyle revival" at
  all, more of a "calligraphic interpretation" of it. Zapf designed it as
  a display face, and wasn't too concerned about lining up the serifs
  (check out the "t"). And it just *has* to be printed on 1200dpi devices
  (at least) to look good in small sizes. OK then, maybe a short list is
  incomplete without a caution NOT to use Palatino...

  JK> Also, if this is meant to be a "quick history/user guide for those
  fairly new to using fonts on desktop publishing systems," then I would
  recommend more directions about the proper uses of certain faces (e.g.,
  Goudy for shaped text, Peignot for display *only*) and styles (e.g.,
  italics for editorial comments, all-caps for basically nothing).

  LP-2> Okay, okay. I was only sharing a few ideas, not trying to write a
  book. Surely you agree that the 3 typefaces I chose are by far the most
  commonly used and abused these days? I don't think a discussion of
  Goudy or Peignot fits in very well here, unless we're hoping to make a
  very wide-ranging FAQL. Regarding styles: first, italics are used
  principally for *emphasis* (rather than bold in running text); second,
  all good books have a few small caps here and there, don't they? - all
  mine do...

  JK> Sorry if I come across as critical. I think the idea of making a
  FAQL is a good one, as is your effort. We just have to make sure it
  doesn't give any newbies the wrong impressions and further perpetuate
  the typographical morass we're facing today.

  LP-2> Sorry if I come across as defensive, but I stand by what I said
  and object to the suggestion that I am "perpetuating the typographical
  morass". (I don't know if you really intended this - apologies if you
  didn't.)

  Comments by Don Hosek:
  ======================

  Don Hosek offers the following additional notes:

  The "Times" in most printers is actually a newer version of the font
  than Monotype's "Times New Roman" which it is originally based on.
  Walter Tracy's _Letters of Credit_ gives an excellent history of the
  face which was based on Plantin and in the original cutting has metrics
  matching the original face almost exactly. Another interesting note
  about the face is that it is almost a completely different design in
  the bold: this is due to the fact that old-styles are difficult to
  design as a bold. Incidentally, the classification of Times as a
  transitional is not firm. It likely is placed there by some type
  taxonomists (most notably Alexander Lawson) because of the bold and a
  few minor features. Others, myself included, think of it as a old
  style. The typeface listed in the Adobe catalog as Times Europa was a
  new face commissioned in 1974 to replace the old Times (whose 50th
  birthday was this past October 3rd).

  Hermann Zapf is not particularly pleased with any of the
  phototypesetting versions of Optima. As a lead face, Optima is very
  beautiful. His typeface "World", used in the World Book Encyclopedia is
  one recutting for photocomp which improves the font somewhat. He is on
  record as saying that if he had been asked, he would have designed a
  new font for the technology.

Subject: 1.25. Pronounciation of Font Names

  Below each of the following font names, a suggested English
  pronounciation is given.  This information was collected from a
  (relatively) long discussion on comp.fonts.  If you disagree, or have
  other suggestions, please let me know.

  Arnold Boecklin
  ===============

  "Ar" as in car, "nold" as in "old" with an "n" on the front.  "Boeck"
  is tricker.  The "oe" is actually an umlaut "o" in German, and the
  closest sound to most English speakers is an "er".  So try "Berklin" if
  you want to come close to the original.  Otherwise, just say "Boklin",
  with a long o, like in "boat".

  Benguiat
  ========

  Ben-Gat.  This according to an ITC brochure.

  Courier
  =======

  I would pronounce Courier not like Jim Courier, but the French way:
  Ku-rie, where "Ku" is pronounced like "coo", only short, and "rie" is
  pronounced "ree-eh".

  Didot
  =====

  Stressed at the last syllable. "Dee-DOOH" (not nasal).

  Fette Fraktur
  =============

  "Fet" as in "get" with a "te" that rhymes with "way".  "Frak" rhymes
  with "mock", and "tur" with "tour".

  Fenice
  ======

  Feh-nee'-chey

  Garamond
  ========

  "Gara-": Use a french "r" instead of an english one. Both "a"s are
  pronounced like the "u" in the word "up". "-mond": the last syllable is
  stressed, and you don't pronounce the "n" and "d", but the whole "ond"
  is a nasal "o". Hold your nose closed and say "Ooh", then you get the
  right sound.  The "ant" in "Avant-Garde" is very similar to this sound,
  it is a nasal situated between "a" and "o".

  Helvetica
  =========

  Hell-veh'-ti-ka

  Koch Roman
  ==========

  Pronounced like scottish `Loch', but with K instead of L.

  LaTeX
  =====

  Lamport lists lah'-tech, lah-tech', lay'-tech and lay'-tecks as valid
  on p.4.  Last I talked to him he'd settled into lay'-tech which has
  always been my pronunciation as well. Somewhere, I heard that LL does
  explicitly rule out L.A.-tech, but he's from northern California which
  explains a lot.

  Mos Eisley
  ==========

  moss eyes-lee

  Novarese
  ========

  No-vahr-ay'-zay

  Palatino
  ========

  pa-la-TEEN-oh

  Peignot
  =======

  There's some contention here, suggested pronouncations:

  pay-nyoh'

  "P" like "P" in `Post", "ei" like "a" in "fan", "gn" like "n" in "noon"
  plus "y" in "yes", "ot" - long, closed "o" (I don't know English
  examples), stressed.

  "P" like "P" in `Post", "ei" like "a" in "many", "gn" like "n" in
  "noon" plus "y" in "yes", "ot" - long, closed "o" (I don't know English
  examples), stressed.

  Sabon
  =====

  Sah-bon'

  TeX
  ===

  Rhymes with Blech, (as in "Blech, that tasted awfull!")

  Veljovic
  ========

  Vel'-yo-vitch

  Zapf
  ====

  Like "tsapf".  The "a" is pronounced like a short version of the well
  known tongue-depresser vowel "aaahhh".  Perhaps a better English analogy
  would be the "o" in "hop" or "hops".

  This is Info file comp.fonts.faq.info, produced by Makeinfo-1.55 from
  the input file FAQ.texinfo.

Subject: 1.26. What does `lorem ipsum dolor' mean?

  `Lorem ipsum dolor' is the first part of a nonsense paragraph sometimes
  used to demonstrate a font.  It has been well established that if you
  write anything as a sample, people will spend more time reading the
  copy than looking at the font.  The "gibberish" below is sufficiently
  like ordinary text to demonstrate a font but doesn't distract the
  reader.  Hopefully.

  Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetaur adipisicing elit, sed do
  eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad
  minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip
  ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in
  voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.  Excepteur
  sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia
  deserunt mollit anim id est laborum Et harumd und lookum like Greek to
  me, dereud facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam liber te conscient to
  factor tum poen legum odioque civiuda. Et tam neque pecun modut est
  neque nonor et imper ned libidig met, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed
  ut labore et dolore magna aliquam makes one wonder who would ever read
  this stuff? Bis nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet. Duis aute
  in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. At vver
  eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent luptatum delenit
  aigue excepteur sint occae.  Et harumd dereud facilis est er expedit
  distinct. Nam libe soluta nobis eligent optio est congue nihil impedit
  doming id Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, set
  eiusmod tempor incidunt et labore et dolore magna aliquam. Ut enim ad
  minim veniam, quis nostrud exerc.  Irure dolor in reprehend incididunt
  ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud
  exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
  Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse
  molestaie cillum.  Tia non ob ea soluad incommod quae egen ium improb
  fugiend.  Officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum Et harumd dereud
  facilis est er expedit distinct. Nam liber te conscient to factor tum
  poen legum odioque civiuda et tam.  Neque pecun modut est neque nonor
  et imper ned libidig met, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed ut labore et
  dolore magna aliquam is nostrud exercitation ullam mmodo consequet.
  Duis aute in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla
  pariatur. At vver eos et accusam dignissum qui blandit est praesent.
  Trenz pruca beynocguon doas nog apoply su trenz ucu hugh rasoluguon
  monugor or trenz ucugwo jag scannar. Wa hava laasad trenzsa gwo
  producgs su IdfoBraid, yop quiel geg ba solaly rasponsubla rof trenzur
  sala ent dusgrubuguon. Offoctivo immoriatoly, hawrgasi pwicos asi
  sirucor.Thas sirutciun applios tyu thuso itoms ghuso pwicos gosi
  sirucor in mixent gosi sirucor ic mixent ples cak ontisi sowios uf Zerm
  hawr rwivos. Unte af phen neige pheings atoot Prexs eis phat eit sakem
  eit vory gast te Plok peish ba useing phen roxas.  Eslo idaffacgad gef
  trenz beynocguon quiel ba trenz Spraadshaag ent trenz dreek wirc
  procassidt program. Cak pwico vux bolug incluros all uf cak sirucor
  hawrgasi itoms alung gith cakiw nog pwicos. Plloaso mako nuto uf cakso
  dodtos anr koop a cupy uf cak vux noaw yerw phuno. Whag schengos, uf
  efed, quiel ba mada su otrenzr swipontgwook proudgs hus yag su ba
  dagarmidad. Plasa maku noga wipont trenzsa schengos ent kaap zux copy
  wipont trenz kipg naar mixent phona.  Cak pwico siructiun ruos nust
  apoply tyu cak UCU sisulutiun munityuw uw cak UCU-TGU jot scannow.
  Trens roxas eis ti Plokeing quert loppe eis yop prexs. Piy opher
  hawers, eit yaggles orn ti sumbloat alohe plok. Su havo loasor cakso
  tgu pwuructs tyu InfuBwain, ghu gill nug bo suloly sispunsiblo fuw
  cakiw salo anr ristwibutiun. Hei muk neme eis loppe. Treas em wankeing
  ont sime ploked peish rof phen sumbloat syug si phat phey gavet peish
  ta paat ein pheeir sumbloats. Aslu unaffoctor gef cak siructiun gill bo
  cak spiarshoot anet cak GurGanglo gur pwucossing pwutwam. Ghat dodtos,
  ig pany, gill bo maro tyu ucakw suftgasi pwuructs hod yot tyubo
  rotowminor.  Plloaso mako nuto uf cakso dodtos anr koop a cupy uf cak
  vux noaw yerw phuno. Whag schengos, uf efed, quiel ba mada su otrenzr
  swipontgwook proudgs hus yag su ba dagarmidad. Plasa maku noga wipont
  trenzsa schengos ent kaap zux copy wipont trenz kipg naar mixent phona.
  Cak pwico siructiun ruos nust apoply tyu cak UCU sisulutiun munityuw
  uw cak UCU-TGU jot scannow.  Trens roxas eis ti Plokeing quert loppe
  eis yop prexs. Piy opher hawers, eit yaggles orn ti sumbloat alohe
  plok. Su havo loasor cakso tgu pwuructs tyu.

  [This version was found on CompuServe.  It differs from other versions I
  have seen in print, increasingly so as you go along.  It almost looks
  computer-generated, doesn't it?]